Well, the sky is blue outside my window, and there are still some nice autumn colours clinging to the trees. The kids are back at school after half term, and I spent the morning in a peaceful house (bliss), reading over the book I'm working on from the beginning and adding another thousand words or so. What could be nicer?

I just read the Alexander McCall Smith newsletter that I get emailed to me. The man's a marvel. He describes his travels to all kinds of countries doing signings or lectures or whatever, and he still manages to bring out about four new books a year. How does he do it?

I did a really nice school visit before half term, in a primary school in Belfast. I managed to mess up my powerpoint by saving what I thought  was a new version of it, but was actually just a shortcut to a new version, so it didn't work. It could have been a catastrophe, but it wasn't because the school was so well prepared for the visit, and the teacher, Mrs McDaid, was so helpful, writing the code that I wanted the class to work out up on the whiteboard. The rest of the visit was taken up with my answering questions that the kids had written out in advance, and selling and signing 27 copies of my books! So all in all a very good visit. (I have some photos which I might add when I get conformation that all the children's parents give permission for their pictures to be on the website.)

I just read my book group read, The Outcast, which I found very compelling, and I've  started reading The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. I love Neil Gaiman - I'm hoping that one day I'll get to meet him at some writers do, although I'd probably be far too awestruck to say anything sensible if I did. I'm still reading Predator's Gold to my son at bedtime, and we're both very impressed. So much so that I bought the first book in another series by Philip Reeve, Larklight. I'm very impressed by the way Reeve manages to keep such a pacy plot and believeable characters and still keep his language really beautiful. When I grow up I want to be able to write as well as he does.

I should really get back to work and see if I can't bring today's word count up to 2000. I already have the next scene I want to write in my head, which is lovely - it's a deep and meaningful conversation between two of the main characters in a river boat going south through the rainforest in Gabon.

This is the first book that I've set somewhere that I've never been, and I really wish I could afford to go and spend some time in Africa and soak up the ambience. But I can't so I'll have to rely on my imagination (and what I can get off the internet.) Ah well. One day I'll be able to travel the world. Maybe I'll follow Alexander McCall Smith around as a groupie!

I'm feeling at bit low at the moment and feel like saying lots of (mild) bad words. Poopity poop. Bloomin 'eck. Fart. There. I've said them. Why am I low? Hmmm - lots of things. I've hardly got any work done for the last few weeks because no sooner had I got better from my tonsillitis than I got called up for jury service. I've done three weeks so far out of a possible four to six. I have to check the website (or phone them up) every day after five thirty to see if I have to go in the next day. So far I've had to go in about three days a week. Today is the only day this week that I haven't been called in, and I couldn't work today anyway because on Thursdays I volunteer at my church Parent and Toddler group. I wouldn't mind if I got to sit in on interesting court cases - that would be research. But most days I just sit in a waiting room for hours and then they tell me to go home. Two time's I've been sworn onto a jury, and we've all sat for hours in a different waiting room, and both times been told eventually to go home because the defendants have changed their pleas to guilty. Ah well.


More depressing is my publisher's response to my new book. I submitted it in April - didn't hear anything for months, and then got told how much they love it, but that because of the slow market they were waiting until Sept to decide whether to publish - well September came and went and still no decision, and now I've been told that they are waiting until January to make a decision. I know it's a good book, I think it's my best yet, so why won't they publish it???


Then there's the credit crunch. And the endless rain...


Farty fart fart.


Poo.

Roxie's doing well - bless her. She's ever such a sweet wee dog, and the house training is going fairly well too- she'll do her business in the garden quite happily (if it's not raining) and she holds it in in the house most of the time. She's very pretty though, and I need to tell myself not to spoil her when she looks up at me with those big eyes.She had her first real walk yesterday - along the tow path in Belfast by Shaw's Bridge. We didn't get very far since I'm recovering from a bout of tonsillitis, and Roxie's only wee, but we did get to say hello nicely to a few people, and cower in fear in front of a few dogs (we'll have to work on that one - they were very friendly dogs, so hopefully Roxie will soon get the message that she needn't be afraid.)   Unfortunately, this morning Roxie discovered the joys of cat poo. We have a litter tray for Lucy, and aren't always totally vigilant in scooping out poos, and for some unfathomable reason, dogs seem to think that cat poo is the worlds most delicious yummy treat - ew. You really don't want to be given doggy kisses from a mutt that just been snacking on that delicacy!

I had a bad week last week because I was too ill to work, but I'm back on track now - still feeling tired and run down, but at least my head isn't spinning and pounding anymore. I wrote nearly 1500 words today, so far. I try to write 2000 words a day, but don't seem to manage it too often these days, what with one thing and another. Today I'm distracted by playing Final Fanstasy iv on the Nintendo ds - it's so cool, and addictive.

I'm reading Lullabies For Little Criminals at the moment - I feel ambivilant about it - I love the clever use of language and metaphore, but thats the very thing that annoys me about it - because it's supposed to be written in the voice of this disfunctional teenaged girl, but she expresses herself so eloquently that it just doesn't ring true. Still, overall I'd give it a thumbs up. I was looking at peoples lists on Amazon today, and I came across a book that looks good - The Raging Quiet by Sherryl Jordan. I put it in my basket, in case someone in the house wants to buy something and then I could throw that in to get free postage! I also have sitting hopefully in my basket the new Artemis Fowl book - I guess I only need one more book to get free postage on my own. Hmmm. Tomorrow is my book group, and I'll have to buy the next book for that. Ha Ha, I'm hatching a cunning plan...

Wow, it's been ages since I've written a blog, and oodles of things have happened since the last one. The Trap came out !!! My mum and my nephew came over for the launch that never happened (!). We had our own party instead and that was fun.


We went over to England to visit family. My dad was paralysed from the waist down a few months ago due to complications with a spinal surgery so we went to see him in the spinal injuries unit where he's living at the moment, and then we went to Alton Towers. I'm a total wuss when it comes to roller coasters, but the family persuaded me to go on Air (I was completely terrified) and Rita Queen of Speed (I can't believe people do this for pleasure). After that I wouldn't go on anything that had a height restriction. We were there for two days and at the end of the second day it bucketed down and we all got totally drenched.


Then we drove down south to my sister's house in Sussex and stayed with her for a few days. We did a murder mystery dinner one night (I was an exotic dancer!). We went into Crawley and I saw a pile of my books in the Waterstones there. I said to Paul (in a stage whisper - ie loud enough for a staff member to overhear) 'Oh, there's my book, I should sign it!' The staff member did overhear, and asked me to sign their copies. After that I was too embarassed to go back into the shop to look for books!

I read Mister Pip when I was in England - it's brilliant! It starts all lovely and sweet, and then gets quite shocking and scary. I would definately recomend it though.

When we got home we got our new puppy, Roxie. She's adorable. She's a ten week old Blenheim coloured (white and tan) Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. She sleeps quite a lot, but when she's awake she's very lovable - she follows everyone about, and loves to play (her favourite toy is a cat toy - one of those feathery things that bounces on elastic on the end of a stick). The house training was going very well, until it started raining constantly, and Roxie hates being outside in the rain. Blooming rain!

I had a signing in Waterstones in Lisburn last Saturday. Most of my book group showed up, and a few people from my church, as well as a couple of contacts I'd made doing school visits. It's just as well I'd asked everyone I know to come, because apart from them, only one random member of the public bought a book for me to sign!

Yesterday afternoon at about 3.00 I got a phone call from someone from UTV life, which is a magazine program on before the local news on the Northern Ireland ITV channel. They'd had a cancellation for the 5.30 program, and he asked if I would come down instead for an interview. Eeeeek! I knew an interview with them was on the cards, but I was expecting a bit more notice. Still, at least it didn't give me enough time to get too nervous (or to buy an new outfit, darnit!) It was a live interview, that lasted about four minutes, and I don't think I said anything too brain-dead. I haven't had the nerve to watch it through though!

So now the kids are back to school (yeah!) and I'm back to work. I spent the last couple of days re-writing what I had so far on the new book, and now I have to forge ahead.


 

I'm just back from an interview with Lee Henry, a very nice man from Culture Northern Ireland. He interviewed me way back when The Forbidden Room came out, and I remembered that he was really friendly then, but I still felt nervous. I needn't have been. The interview was really just an informal chat in the lovely coffee shop of the Linen Hall Library in Belfast. He told me about his own writing project that he's about to sign a publishing deal for - it's a great idea and sounds like a fascinating read (I'll not say what it's about in case it's a secret.)


Only two weeks until The Trap is officially in the shops! I was hoping for a launch party but Faber told me they only do that for first books, or people who are big enough - maybe one day I'll be big enough for another party?


My mum was planning to come over for the launch, so she's just going to come anyway and we'll have a celebratory take away and bottle of bubbly on the night in question. Plus I've got a book group pot-luck supper coming up on the 13th August, so I'll maybe bring a bottle of bubbly to that too (any excuse to bring on the champers - except it'll probably be Cava since I can't afford the real stuff!)


I pre-ordered some copies of The Trap from Amazon, since they have it at a really good price, and it gives me exciting ratings jumps when I do. Paul has  computer programs set up that notice ratings jumps on Amazon for the two books and send me e-mails - either 'Woo hoo, The Forbidden Room sales ranking is on the up!' or 'Wey hey, you got a truppy!' (In case you're wondering, 'an uppy' has been our nickname for a ratings rise for The Forbidden Room, so 'a truppy' seemed like the logical name for a rise in ratings for The Trap.) I wonder if I'll ever get so successful that I don't bother to obsessively watch my Amazon ratings???


Now I'm scared that people are actually going to read The Trap - what if they hate it? What if I start getting terrible reviews? What if nobody reads it and I get no reviews??


I could always fake my death in a canoeing accident...


Only kidding. I love my life.

I'm still feeling very sad about Snowy, but life goes on, I guess. The kids are excited about getting a new dog, but I'm not sure yet what to do about that. Part of me feels so guilty about what happened to Snowy that I don't think we deserve to be dog owners - I don't know.


Anyway, Paul and I went to see Mamma Mia at the cinema a few days ago. We loved it! It's a real 'feel good' movie, and even with Pierce Brosnan's cringe-worthy singing, I would definitely go and see it again. Meryl Streep was BRILLIANT! and Julie Walters and that other American woman were an absolute hoot. Let's hear it for the older women!!


I made a new Listmania list on Amazon. 'Books that my kids and I are excited about' which I thought made it okay to put my own books on the list, because I am excited about them! I added the new Paul McKenna book and CD, 'Instant confidence'. I wish there was an instant answer to my total lack of self confidence. I tried the Paul McKenna book and CD 'I can make you thin' but every time I listened to the CD it made me cry. There's a bit where you have to imagine you are someone who loves you looking at you and list all the things about you that they love. Every time I could only think of things about me that they wouldn't like. It's true. I'm hopeless.

I do wish I was more confident though. I'm really bad at making friends. As soon as anyone gets close, I shy away. It's not because I don't like people - I like almost everyone I meet, I'm just afraid that they won't like me.
My husband Paul is the only person in the world who knows just about everything about me and I'm continually flabbergasted that he still loves me. I even find it hard to tell him how much I love him, even though I do. I guess he's probably the only person in the world who reads my blog, so I guess I just told him (he he).


I'm not getting much writing done at the moment with the kids at home. I suppose since Faber are sitting on the next manuscript until they see how The Trap does before they give me a definite answer about whether they're going to publish it, there's not really any rush on me to produce anything else. I like writing though, I like having my head full of my characters and their hypothetical conversations and situations, so I'll just keep writing for me even if Faber are dragging their heels.


I finally managed to drag my fat behind to the gym today!! I'm feeling virtuous now (and smelly) so I'm going to go and soak in the bath.

My dog Snowy died today.


Yesterday she climbed up the back of the sofa when no one was watching her to steal a half a bar of chocolate from the bookcase. It was a big bar of very dark chocolate (70% cocoa) and it was obviously enough to kill her.


We found the empty wrapper yesterday evening, and Snowy was very hyper - running about, giving everyone doggie kisses and wanting to play - we knew that chocolate was bad for dogs, and even fatal sometimes, but we didn't think she'd eaten enough. We thought she would just sleep it off. This morning, Paul got her up, and she went into the garden as usual, did her business and barked at the neighbour, and then ran upstairs where I was still in bed and gave me lots of kisses until I told her to get down.


A few  moments later, she started to scream - my husband ran upstairs thinking it was our daughter screaming. My youngest go up too to see what was wrong.


It was all very quick. she screamed for a few seconds, then fell over and shook for a moment and then it was over. She was dead. Just like that.


I think it must have been a heart attack, or something. I still feel stunned and unbelieving - how could Snowy be dead? Paul wrapped her in a blanket and took her to the vet. When he lifted her and her head lolled we all finally believed that she was gone.


I don't think it's really sunk in yet. One moment I feel overwhelmed by all the little ways that I'll miss her, and the next moment I feel nothing - the absence of feeling.

I know she was only a dog, but I really loved her, and I feel that I need to grieve for her.

Goodbye Snowy.

So the kids broke up from school on Friday, and we're five days into the school holidays (play psycho music here). Yesterday my two boys (aged 11 and 12) each had a friend round and the four of them  started an all out war with guns that shoot foam balls - the noise was something else. I shut myself away in my room trying to do some work on the computer, and every two minutes a boy would burst into the room, either giggling or screaming and ask me breathlessly if anyone else was in here. Every time they ran out again, they left the door open, so I had to squeeze past the obstacle race of furniture in my not-big-enough bedroom to close the door and at least lower the volume of the ambient noise slightly.


Eventually I decided enough was enough, and told the kids I was going out for a while. I took a book (my new Alexander McCall Smith - The Miracle at Speedy Motors) and went to Starbucks. It was about four thirty in the afternoon, and in the queue I debated whether I should get a decaff, but in the end went for a large filter coffee. Man, it was enormous, and so strong you could stand the spoon up in it. It could have sprinted around carrying one of those gargantuan stone spheres that they lift in The Worlds Strongest Man, it was so strong. So, inevitably, later on I lay tossing and turning in bed and while I did I made a list of things I want. It is a totally selfish list and doesn't include world peace or an end to poverty or anything like that.


Here is my insomniac musings list of what I want:


I want them to invent a new gene therapy for me where they take the DNA of all the stick thin people who complain that they sit about eating junk food all day and can't gain any weight, and put it in instead of my I-only-need-to-look-at-a-doughnut-to-gain-another-five-pounds-DNA, so that I can be naturally thin for ever.


Then I want to buy several flouncy flowery summer dresses that make me look like a vision of beauty instead of the hybrid offspring of a pair of curtains and a circus tent.


I want to be able to write really well all the time. At the moment I think I have the occasional moment of genius, but most of the time I slog away and churn out mediocre pap.


I want one of my books to be the Richard and Judy children's book of the year. I dreamed of being a published writer for so long, and never realised that being a published writer wasn't necessarily enough - at the moment my writing pays about enough to keep a modest gnat in the manner to which it is accustomed. What I really need is to be a published, promoted writer.

I want to be less shy. This is a tough one, because sometimes I like being me and being shy is a big part of who I am, but it does make a lot of situations really difficult. And sometimes I come home from a social event feeling really sad because I was so bad at joining in and talking to people.

So, basically, I want to be beautiful, successful and popular - nothing clichéd there.

Oh, and I want to be better at spelling.

And I want the school holidays to be over (not really, I love being with the kids. Honest.)

I've had a very emotional few days (in a good way). Today's Thursday, and I'm just back from my youngest child's primary school leavers assembly. I went wearing my new Dolly Parton T-shirt, which I got on Tuesday night - the first of the emotional moments. I am an unashamed Dolly Parton fan, and until Tuesday, I had never seen the great diva perform live. The tickets cost an arm and a leg, especially considering what a new writer like me earns (about half minimum wage for the hours I put in) but they were worth every penny. We were about twenty five rows back from the stage, which was pretty close because it was a big stadium (the odyssey arena in Belfast) and luckily, for the first half, nobody sat in the seats in front of us. Well, when Dolly appeared on the stage, I was literally so excited and overwhelmed that I welled up and cried. Seriously. I've always thought these people who cry and scream in the presence of celebrities are a bit fey in the head, but I became one - tears, screams, I couldn't help myself. (I wasn't as bad at least as the girl three rows in front, who couldn't contain herself the whole time.) I did settle down, eventually, and thoroughly enjoyed the show. The woman's a marvel. She plays all kinds of instruments - I didn't know that. Guitar, banjo, piano, harmonica, irish pipes, fiddle, some kind of electric harp gizmo - is there no end to Dolly's talent? And the singing - wow. It's no wonder she's had such a long career because when she opened her mouth the whole stadium was filled with beauty. Not a bum note the whole night, and there was one song in particular, Little Sparrow, which Dolly sang accapella, and even my husband, who is not a Dolly fan and was humouring me by coming with me, said it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end it was so amazing.


Then yesterday I was off to Hazelwood Integrated Primary school, in Belfast, where one of the P7 classes had made bracelets, and sold them at school, raising £80 which they decided to spend on buying a class set of The Forbidden Room. What an honour. I got a chance to read two of the children's works of creative writting - one a fictional diary that was inspired by Mandy's diary in The Forbidden Room, and the other a very funny fantasy story. Both were brilliant and I would not be a bit surprised to see both girls as published writers in the future.


Then to this morning. All three of my children have been through Finaghy Primary School - a really lovely and top class local school and for the most part the kids have been thoroughly happy there. Christy, my youngest is leaving this year to move up to Grammar school with his brother and sister, and today was his leavers' assembly. They give out loads of cups for this that and the other, and last year Daniel, my older son, won a cup for Academic Achievement. Christy wasn't expecting to win anything, and I'd given him the speech about how proud I am of him anyway, and it doesn't matter if he doesn't win a cup. And sure enough, as the table gradually emptied, Christy's name wasn't called. And then, with only three cups left, the head teacher announced that this year there is a new cup, in memory of Sarah Barr. Sarah's mum, Judy has been my friend since our children were babies, and she has a son who goes about with my sons. Sarah, one of Judy's daughters was diagnosed with a brain tumour when she was in her final year at Finaghy Primary, and after a very difficult couple of years, she passed away last year on Valentines day. Sarah's family donated a cup for Mathematics, and my Christy won it. Talk about teary eyed. Between thinking about Sarah, and being so proud and happy for Christy for winning something, I was crying buckets.


I'm crying now as I write this. Sometimes it's good to cry. Let it all out, Sarah.


And only 42 days until The Trap comes out! Woohoo! (Waterstones website tells you how many days until a book is published which is very exciting for me.) My new book, Blood and Snow, is with the publishers, but they say even though they love it, they're waiting to see how The Trap sells before deciding whether to publish it. That's very frustrating. I can write a book in about six months, but it takes the publishers about two years of faffing before it hits the shelves - between deciding whether they want it, and then the various stages of editing, and meanwhile I'm sitting around getting poorer. Ah well - at least I can always cheer myself up with an emotional Dolly song!

One of my Book Group Buddies had a 'do' for her birthday on Saturday. It was one of those birthdays that ends in an '0'. I had a blast! I haven't been on a dance floor for years and years but I boogied the night away to all the old rock and roll tunes from the days when music really was music. (I'm showing my age, I know. My knees ached the next day as well, and today I found several white hairs when I looked at myself in the vanity mirror in the car - cruel daylight takes no prisoners!) There was live music as well, from a band made up of several members of another of the Book Group Buddies family and friends - they were great too.


I'm wallowing in writer's block at the moment. Last week I was depressed. The shortlist for the Carnegie Medal came out, and The Forbidden Room wasn't on it. I knew it wouldn't be, but being on the longlist was great, and I couldn't help dreaming about how winning it would have lifted my out of relative obscurity. I'm mourning for what might have been. Still, one good thing came out of it (I hope) I finally got around to contacting an agent (and he seems quite keen). I'm not naturally good at putting myself forward, and having someone else fighting my corner might be very  good for my career. So fingers crossed for that.


 I'm in limbo a bit at the moment because I finished Blood and Snow, the murder mystery I'd been working on and sent it off  a couple of weeks ago to Faber (and now to the agent as well) and I'm waiting to hear back about that. I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out, but still, Faber seem to reject about half of what I send to them, so I know that there are no guarantees.  I have a few half ideas for new books bubbling under the surface, but nothing concrete.  I hate not  being in the middle of writing a book. It makes me antsy. I'm not depressed any more at least, but still blocked.


I just finished reading The Book Thief, and before that The Memory Keeper's Daughter. I loved The Memory Keeper's Daughter, although one or two minor things about it annoyed me, but I thought The Book Thief was just about perfect. It almost made me want to give up writing on the spot because I could never come up  with anything that brilliant. (I guess I was depressed at the time though, maybe if I'd have been in a better mood it would have just inspired me to create my own genius.) At the moment I'm reading a book called The Conjurer's Bird. I found it a little slow to get into, coming straight after The Book Thief, but now that I'm about half way through I'm finding myself dipping into it throughout the day, rather than just waiting til bedtime, which is always a good sign.

With my son I'm reading the new Skulduggery Pleasant book, which I'm not sure I like as much as the first, but he likes it, and he is the target audience, so fair enough. Before that we read Shade's Children, by Garth Nix, and I was a Rat, by Phillip Pullman.

I would really like inspiration to hit me like a thunderbolt right now with a brilliant idea for a new book.

Come on inspiration....

I'm waiting...

Hello?

No.

Nothing.

Poo.

I guess I'll just go and cut the grass instead.

Since my last post was such a rant, I'll try to be more positive today. Things are actually looking up - my Amazon rating has been much healthier these last few weeks (thank you if anyone read my rant and took pity that way!)  The Trap has appeared on Amazon too - no picture yet, and no sales rank because I guess no one had pre-ordered it, but still, it's great to be able to click on 'other books by this writer' - although some book called 'strong women stay slim' is higher up the list of books by Sarah Wray, and I didn't even write it!

The new book is coming along - the word count is now up to 47 000 odd,  and  I've still got a few things to say.  My kids are off school at the moment for Easter, but  I'm  managing to get some writing done anyway - now that they're 11, 12 and 14, they are so much more independent  (in fact we only ever see the  fourteen year old when she wants food, money or a lift somewhere, and the other two, being boys  are pretty much glued to their various  video games  most of the time.)


Oh - just got a phone call from daughter  - she wants me to pick her up from her friend's house.


Right - I'm back again, after  collecting  daughter and getting her something to eat.  That's  kind of how my life is at the moment - I'm having to adapt to  snatching moments to work in between parental responsibilities. Generally  I refuse to work at all unless I have an empty house for hours on end, but because the kids  don't need me so much, and  Niamh (the character in the book I'm writing) is in the middle of something of a crisis,  I 'm  finding myself  rushing off to the computer every time theres a quiet moment, and  moving things along a bit for  Niamh. It's quite a revelation to me that I can work this way. Woo hoo! I'm becoming more flexible!


I suppose  I must have worked like that way back when  I started writing  when the kids were all pre-school aged  (it seems like hardly any time ago sometimes - it's a cliche but it's  too true how quickly they grow up!)  But  I've just got lazy or self-indulgent now that they're all at school.


I had a really good school visit a couple of weeks ago - at Hunterhouse College in Belfast.  I promised the girls  I'd mention them in my blog, and I've only just got around to writing a blog, so  here's the mention, finally!  There were about  150 girls crammed into the school library, and they laughed and gasped at all the right moments, which is all  you can ask from an audience really - thanks girls!


I'd better go now - the boys are getting hungry, and the  dirty dishes that  I stacked up in the kitchen to make them look like less are  threatening to collapse in a giant heap. Housework calls....

I just went to the library in Finaghy where I live to return some books and get out a new audiobook for the car (I got Coastliners by Joanne Harris) and they hit me for a £9.80 fine! Right enough, there have been many times when I thought I owed them a fine, but was never asked to cough up, so this humongous sum was just all those times adding up, but still...


Talking of  things adding up - or not, the book  I'm working on at the moment (Blood and  Snow is its working title)  has just  passed the  30 000 word mark - about half way through  the  length of a teenage novel, and  I'm at least three quarters of the way through the  plot - how did  I manage to say all that so quickly? Usually I write too much and I have to pare lots of it away (or at least my editor pares lots of it away) I'm seriously panicked about being able to make the book long enough.  Eeek!

I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself generally. I put my back out on Sunday - leaning down to put on a pair of boots, and that coupled with my arthritis (I have had psoriatic arthritis since not long after my third child was born - about ten years ago now) has me feeling like a decrepid old woman, with my aches and pains. Plus, for the last five years my family has gone away with my sister's family over Easter (thanks to her overwhelming generosity) - to Spain, then Barbados, then Barbados again, then to her lovely Sussex home with a full staff of caterers, childrens' entertainers and cocktail waiters etc for the week, and last year to Iceland (I'm using Iceland as a setting for Blood and Snow), but this year my kids school holidays didn't overlap with her kids' and the Easter holiday is off. We were going to go to Florida. Ah well, maybe someone will want to buy movie rights for The Forbidden Room and then we'll be able to afford our own holiday.

Plus my Amazon sales ranking is at an all time low. Nobody had bought my book off Amazon for two whole weeks! If anyone out there feels sorry for this ranting writer, please buy my book off Amazon so my sales ranking can get dragged out of the doledrums!

Sigh. Things aren't that bad really. I'm actually not depressed or anything. I just thought I'd get all that off my chest.

Now, on a brighter note - isn't it nice to see the evenings getting lighter...

It's just after nine am and I'm barely able to keep my eyes open. So much for the daylight  lamp. It's funny, because it does seem to wake me up gradually,  like it said it would, but I'm still sleepy when I get up. Today's not really a fair test, I guess because it's half term, and I've been lying  in which probably puts my body clock out of whack.


My youngest is back at school today, and  the other two are off until Wednesday. One is downstairs playing  guitar hero - rock legends on the PS2 (that's what the lovely music is) the other is still  tucked up in bed. She'll wake up and demand food soon so mumsy here will have to start into breakfast round three.


I got the  proofs for The Trap last week - that's where its  all done out in pages the way it will be in the actual  book . That's very exciting. The Trap has handwritten clues in it (it's kind of a treasure hunt, sort of) and  I wasn't sure how they would do them. I was pleasantly surprised when it  turned out they were going to use my originals - there's something pretty cool about my  handwriting being reproduced in a real book - more personal than the typed words, even though they're still  my work, if you know what I mean. Except now I'm panicking over little things like do my  Ts look silly, and stuff like that.


Paul and I watched  'What's eating Gilbert Grape ' the other night - one of my all time favourite movies, and last night  we watched a French movie called 'A very  long engagement' by the director of Amelie (and with the same actess -Audrey someone) I  liked it very much as well, although Paul thought it was a bit over long.  We went to the movies last week and saw  Cloverfield - I  had been really looking forward to it, but I didn't think it was that great - lots of things about it annoyed me - like why did all of  the guy's friends look like models, and who would keep filming on  their  video camera when they were running for their life?  I am  Legend was a much better film IMO, and so was  Sweeney  Todd (although that could be just because the gorgeous Johnny D was in it).


I'm still ploughing through  'A suitable Boy' (about half way now) and I'm reading  'The Spiderwick  Chronicles' to Christy at bedtimes.  He won the boxset in an internet competition,  which is just as well because the books are very short and £6 a pop. But  since  we didn't have to pay for them,  I have to say we're both really enjoying them - even though they are American. I think they're really well written, and the books are nicely illustrated and set out as well. We're flying though them  - each book only takes two or three sittings, but  we're having fun. The whole set is really just about the length of one proper book,  although I think if Christy was reading them to himself (and he has read ahead after I've finished reading to him)  the short books makes them more accessible.

I'm feeling a bit more awake now. Maybe I'll get some actual work done before I have to go and make more breakfast. (Or maybe I'll just surf the internet for a while - it's all research you know)...

Well, I survived my trip to Newcastle - and even enjoyed a lot of it.  I was in such a state of nerves that  I literally didn't sleep a wink the night before, and only adrenalin carried me through the whole day. Not only adrenalin - what also really helped was how friendly and welcoming everyone in Newcastle was to me. From the taxi drivers through to the school librarians and teachers and the kids - everyone was really nice. The two girls from Borders bookshops who followed me about all day selling my book even went out at lunch time and bought me a gift of 'Rescue Remedy' herbal spray and sweeties that help to calm your nerves (I'd told them how nervous I was about my speech in the evening) I was really touched.

The school visits went very well, and then it came to the big night - we arrived at The Centre For Life - an enormous hall that was pleasantly empty at first, but completely jam packed by the time the event started. The six shortlisted writers all had to give a ten minute speech, and of course they did it in alphabetical order by surname, so I was last! I had prepared a speech about the years that I was trying to get published, and the Wow Factor competition, and then as I listened to the other speeches all the other writers were talking specifically about the book they'd been shortlisted for, and I was sitting on the stage desparately trying to think up a new speech on the spot. In the end, I gave the original speech, with one or two last minute embelishments, and almost got lost in the middle - but I think it was alright.

I didn't win - Ally Kennen won with Berserk. She seems like a really nice person, and she had her little baby with her on the night, and I didn't begrudge her the win at all. Afterwards lots of kids came and said nice things to me while I signed bits of paper or copies of The Forbidden Room for them, which was pretty cool, and then all the writers went back to the hotel for a very nice dinner. (Which was somewhat elongated by the fire alarm going off and us all having to be evacuated in to the cold windy night for quite a long time.)

I'm very shy and not good at social occasions like dinner parties, so I think I might have come across as a bit of an idiot at the dinner, but never mind. I don't think I said anything really really stupid, so it could have been worse!

I'm still not quite recovered from my nerves, even though it's all over, and I've even started daydreaming about the speech I'll give the next time I'm shortlisted - what am I like?

It's maybe as well that I couldn't sleep the night before my trip, or I'd never have been able to get up early enough to catch my flight - I'm really not a morning person. I struggle out of bed and my body-clock doesn't really kick in until about mid afternoon. My husband had been researching for me, and has ordered my a daylight alarm clock. The idea is that it is like a sunrise, which wakes you up gradually and naturally, and it's supposed to make you much more alert when you get up. It has a thirty day trial period, so we can send it back if I'm still grogzilla even after being woken by it. Still, it's worth a try - I'll keep you posted about if it works.

I'm  feeling a bit unwell at the moment. Last week I had a  head cold, which thankfully seems to have pretty much gone away, but  instead  now I'm being plagued by an upset tummy.I don't know if  I'm actually ill, or just nervous about my week ahead. (Well, Friday really, since the rest of the week is not particularly scary.)

On Friday morning I'm flying to  Newcastle (the one in England, not the one in County Down) to go  to the  North East Teenage Book Awards party, since  The Forbidden Room is one of their shortlisted books - which is lovely.  Before the party I'm doing two school visits, (which is great) and afterwards  I'm having dinner with the other shortlisted writers (double great.) I'm in a bit of a panic over it all though. I think it's partly the newness of it all - I've never been to anything like that, and although I 've done quite a few school visits here in Belfast, I've never done one in England (not that English kids are scarier or anything  - after all  I was one myself). I'm just not sure about practicalities, like how I'm going to be  getting from place to place and  stuff like that.
I'm sure it will all be fine, but I guess  I'm in  for a week of nervous tummy anyway.


My mind is almost being taken off it by reading 'Darkly Dreaming Dexter' by Jeff Lindsay. I love the tv program, so was intruiged to read the book that it's based on.  I'm enjoying the book very much - it's fairly gruesome, although not too much, and very compelling reading.  (I'm taking another break from reading 'A Suitable Boy,' although I did read a few more chapters of it after I finished 'Atonement.')

Paul and  I watched the  DVD 'The Chumscrubber' this weekend - it was also strange and a little disturbing, but very good.

I got a new game for my DS - 'Hotel Dusk' it's like the old PC games where you have to walk about and talk to people and solve puzzles using things - like use the paper clip to pick the lock - that kind of thing. I will have to ration my time playing it though, as I really bought it to bring with me on my travels later this week, and I don't want to have it finished before I go.

I'm reading 'A Hero's Guide to Deadly Dragons' by Cressida Cowell to my youngest son Christy at the moment. We are both enjoying it very much. (Although my throat is barely coping with all the gruff viking voices I'm having to put on.) We just finished 'The book of Dead Days' by Marcus Sedgwick, and so we're reading the Cressida Cowell book to take a comic break before we tackle the sequel - 'The Dark Flight Down.'

What have  I done?  Being a  bit of an idiot when it comes to  computery things, I have not been doing my blog the way you're supposed to. I had just been editing the page every  time  I wanted to add something new. So  I thought  I should start doing it properly,  and when  I  did, everything that was there before just disappeared !!! Help! 

Ah well, maybe  it's a good thing - new year, new  start and all that. 


Well,  welcome to my new blog! (I'm inwardly still weeping at the loss of all that other stuff - come on Sarah, let it go, move on).

Talking of weeping, yesterday I finished reading Henry Tumour to my daughter (I had to use euphemisms for lots of the bad words - I don't mind her reading books with those words, but I just can't bring myself to say them to her) and I was an emotional wreck at the end of it - hat's off to Anthony McGowen for writing  the character of  Heck - I totally believed  in him and loved him.


Another book that  I  loved  recently was Atonement - I haven't seen the film, but I picked up the book  in  a charity shop and  was hooked from the first page - the best book I've read in ages.  I bought  On  Chesil Beach from Tesco for  £3  but I haven't got around to reading it yet - I'm still trying to plough through Vikram Seth's A Suitable Boy - the  longest novel in English  I think, so it could be some time before  I get to it.


Talking of films,  Paul  (the husband) and I went to see I Am Legend  just after new year,  on  a rare  cinema outing that didn't involve children. It was Brill!!  Will Smith is one fine looking man, and  I liked everything about the film.  Now we're planning to go and  see Sweeney Todd  with Johnny Depp (my cup runneth over).


I've got that  Monday morning droopy eye feeling, but I must try and do some work anyway.


Adios